We don’t build muscle with God when it’s reverence from titles, positions, acceptance, or human precepts. Family traditions, society as reality, and ideologies keep us from depth. 

Living with God is His creation for every Soul to know Him and is a walk that represents everything opposite of what we deem knowing Him. We’re detaching from the idea of life for it. The human narrative wants to be right and claim it knows God without questioning ego and satan or the little person level of life.

We stand in our knowing and not knowing, and never lose the grip of ego. 

Walking outside of acceptance and the comfort of knowing isn’t an easy walk, but it’s a mandatory one for the individual to know faith and trust. Abraham’s test was one that could easily be believed in the beginning; it was not God, but something deeper in Abraham knew it was God. Even though it wasn’t logical, practical, or reasonable. That being outside the norm is natural with God. 

I never knew God existed until it happened.  Whenever someone mentioned God’s name, I would quietly replace it in my mind, whispering “the universe.” In truth, I was as far from God as anyone could be. There was no concept of Him, no framework in my mind for His existence, no opening for Him to enter. And yet, He walked with me.

If we understand Abraham, having descendants as numerous as the stars, we know God lives, making any human being know Him not by the mind but by the depth already stirring in the Soul.  The mind carries stories and is the apparatus of the temporal world. The Soul is consciousness and is the eternal light in God. 

God breaking through a thought system, not knowing Him, speaks volumes about the deeper, untold journey taking place between humanity and God. It tells every religion and every seeker that God doesn’t require belief or tradition to know us. God moves beyond them. Even Buddha’s story dives into knowing more about life with God, than any pope has ever lived.

Buddha never knew God existed, but traveled His roads, walking away from a newborn son, family, royalty, luxury, and power for a deeper calling in his Soul. He was losing his life to gain it in God without knowing God existed. While he never reached a place to know God existed, he did receive light in Christ for enlightenment. No one in any religion has carried enlightenment. They carry dogmatic, rudimentary ideas of God because they refuse to leave one world for another. 

The lessons from God keep being missed out of fear of not knowing Him. We can’t summon God like a genie in a bottle and don’t want to sit at the park for six hours calling on Him. We want something tangible that shows others we are His and garners favor by society’s standards. It’s the ego making a golden calf for claiming God. 

God moves us into a greater light, changing the individual out of ego and satan at a deep level in human consciousness at any given time. 

How it Began

Almost 16 years ago, with an organization monitoring me, my journey to know God began. They were destroying my life because I had worked with one of their most famous artists but did not want to be a part of their organization. My life went from Beverly Hills to below poverty. I thought about how to handle it, and it was either create a world-class lawsuit and live at their level fighting back, or choose Love. Marianne Williamson was a teacher of Love, and I had known her work by volunteering with her. Even though I wasn’t a student of ACIM, she carried knowing to love. 

I chose to live Love and not attack back or defend myself. I didn’t want to live at the organization’s level of energy or carry hatred, fighting back at their level. 

We don’t always know what we’re doing, but life carries more. I watched my life sink lower and lower, and I didn’t tell anyone that I had chosen Love and was being attacked by an organization known for harassing people.

If I had told family and friends, they would have picked up the fight for me and started fighting back. I would never have known the power of Love if we had fought back.

In New York, I had owned a gloss magazine and an advertising agency, and created, hosted, and produced two radio shows on both FM and AM. I had friends who were millionaires who could have helped. And my brother was working for Homeland Security.

Something was happening, and the choice to live Love was profoundly beyond the world as a sane idea. No one would live successfully and then below poverty because an organization illegally monitored them. 

The world’s outer message was not the inner world’s. My Soul turned over other levels of light. 

While my life was not ordinary, it was at a Soul level, which tends to mean that what we believe life is falls away for a deeper understanding of life. 

To know the power of Love is always through a very real experience. I didn’t defend or attack back, and they continued to attack my life for four years, and eventually, it was very dire. For those around me, it didn’t make sense. It seemed like something was very wrong. But in a deeper sense, it was the opposite. What was on the outside was falling apart as something much deeper was shaping on the inside. I was losing my life to gain it in God without knowing He existed. 

The choice of love was reshaping my life and the journey of reality. 

I had moved around Los Angeles to keep a roof over my head and ended up in a storage apartment in Sherman Oaks. Soon after moving into the apartment, energy started flying out of the ceiling, walls, and the floor. I was videotaping around fifty videos a day. Then, a few months later, I began recording voices. I had lived for four years, having my life destroyed while only choosing Love. Many days, I would drive to the FBI, wanting to tell them about my life, but something deeper would call me to pause. 

Choosing something in the Soul doesn’t work for society’s ideas of life. It won’t permeate with success or status. It’s a lonelier walk out of the world to another level. The mind has to fall away as another light builds in our depth. 

Many times, I would sit on the side of the road contemplating what Love was and if this was right or wrong for what was happening in my life. The choice of Love began with not wanting to live in battle with someone else’s ideas. Love seemed like the right way to not live by their idea. 

The light of Love sits in us all.

When I began recording voices, it started with just one…then many. The voices spoke of God, Heaven, and humanity. Light was tearing through the veil, for knowing God. 

God and His Angels told me they could hear my thoughts. The Angels spoke as if they were right there in the room with me, close, and present. My thought system was changing with more Heaven coming into my life and deepening in light. It was reshaping reality from matters-level to Heavens. 

God opened my eyes and ears, and He began to drive my thoughts. He shifted my mind from society to the stillness of His voice. Everything became about one idea: Love.

We live through a kenosis of life, undoing the idea of self and reality as the thought system changes; it’s the process of losing our lives to gain them in God. Only by leaving this world do we travel into light beyond it. No one carrying God is something in this world. 

The lost mind is the found mind. 

The sacred walk and kenosis crossed the mountain to another world. Only the individual can walk it.